How One Mom Is Bringing Real Connection Back to Modern Dating
For this edition of our Mums Who Build Spotlight, we sat down with someone who helps people find one of the most meaningful connections of all - love.
Meet Alysia Tofflemire, the founder of Alto Matchmaking, a Berlin-based matchmaking and coaching business that helps expats and internationally minded singles across Europe find real, lasting relationships. Originally from Canada, Alysia has lived abroad for over 20 years and knows exactly how challenging — and lonely — it can feel to build a life far from home.
Alysia Tofflemire,
Founder of Alto Matchmaking
“There are so many great small businesses out there run by women and mothers. I try to collaborate with them whenever I can. They understand the need for flexibility in a way traditional founders often don’t.”
A Human Take on Modern Dating
Alysia founded Alto Matchmaking after realizing just how disconnected dating had become - especially for people living abroad.
“I saw so many smart, kind, interesting people struggle to find genuine connections,” she says. “Dating apps made it easy to meet people but harder to actually connect. I wanted to bring the human element back.”
Alto offers something different: personalized, offline matchmaking, dating strategy coaching, and even app profile takeovers for those too busy (or too exhausted) to swipe endlessly. Every part of the process is values-based — focused on confidence, self-worth, and authenticity rather than algorithms.
How Motherhood Changed Everything
When Alysia became a mother, her perspective on relationships — and her work — deepened. “Motherhood taught me patience and presence,” she says. “It made me think about the kind of values I want to live by, and how important those same values are in a relationship.”
That reflection became part of Alto’s philosophy. She now helps clients slow down, get clear about what really matters, and look for partners who align not just emotionally, but in life goals — especially those dreaming of one day starting families of their own.
“I also want my daughter to understand the value of real human connection,” Alysia adds. “We’re living in such a digital world — I hope she grows up seeing that relationships are built through empathy, honesty, and time.”
Small Wins, Big Meaning
Running a matchmaking business means working with emotions as much as operations. “My biggest challenge has been finding the balance between empathy and boundaries,” she explains. “I’m not just managing logistics — I’m managing people’s hopes, fears, and stories.”
Her proudest moment wasn’t about a major milestone or media feature, but something smaller and sweeter: “I once matched a client who swore she’d only date men over 180cm with someone who was 173cm — and they’re still together. That’s when I knew my values-based approach really worked.”
Balancing Business and Motherhood
When asked about balance, Alysia laughs. “Balance looks different every week,” she says. “I’ve stopped expecting my calendar to look calm and organized.”
Having led teams before and navigated both maternity leave and the COVID years, she’s learned to embrace flexibility — and ask for help.
“There are so many great small businesses out there run by women and mothers. I try to collaborate with them whenever I can. They understand the need for flexibility in a way traditional founders often don’t.”
Her Advice for Other Mums
Alysia’s advice is both grounded and encouraging: “write a business plan and really understand your numbers, but don’t wait for perfection. Start small, but start. The clarity will come with action.”
She also emphasizes the importance of community. “Go to free events, find other founders, and build your circle. It’s much easier when you have people who get it.”
Check out Alto Matchmaking!
If you’d like to learn more about Alysia’s work, or know someone who’s ready to take a more mindful approach to dating, you can find her here:
🔗 Get your free 30-minute consultation
🔗 Join the singles database or referral program
Instagram: @altomatchmaking
Facebook: Alto Matchmaking
Why We Love Alysia’s Story
Alysia’s story is a reminder that success isn’t just about scaling fast — it’s about creating something meaningful. She’s helping people find real love, while showing her daughter what it looks like to build something with purpose and heart.
And in a world obsessed with swiping, that feels like a quiet revolution.
